CES 2023 is over and we’ve seen both weird and wonderful devices at this year’s show… almost strange.
Flying cars and obscure robots are now obsolete, so I wondered if CES could do something less practical and even completely ridiculous. It turns out it can be done! Over the past 20+ years, I’ve seen gadgets that are so dumb that they exist just for journalists like me to write articles. But it’s time to call out the really bad stuff, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s time for you to shine!
The most interesting thing about this Rogue Gallery is that some of these products (Pepe Pet Dryer, HapiFork, and Hushme, to name a few) are still for sale. Yes you blew it up, you maniac!
Dyson Zone Air Purifying Headphones
Nothing unusual here.
Andrew Rankson/CNET
It was announced in 2022, so it’s not technically a CES product, but Dyson was demoing its Zone headphones in Las Vegas during CES 2023. According to Dyson’s site, development of the Zone began in his 2016 as a personal air filter (primarily for pollution), so it wasn’t designed to protect against COVID.Plus, one critic argues that the gadget’s obsessive fans might even help. Maximize your chances of contracting coronavirusCNET’s Katie Collins, who tried it at Dyson’s headquarters in the UK, said, “too brilliant and strange to ignore.”
read more: Dyson Zone Air Filtering Headphones launch in January for $949
charmin rollbot
CNET
Computer peripherals maker Razer is king at creating CES-exclusive “look at me” products, but this 2020 entry has made toilet paper brand Charmin famous.yes, in that year Bulk buying of toilet paper Here comes a robot that can bring even more! Yes maybe. RollBot never became a real product, but we loved it and hated it anyway.
read more: These Charmin robots amaze us: Is poop the next tech frontier?
colibri smart toothbrush
Kolibree’s new connected toothbrush tracks your activity and helps you brush in the most effective way.
colibri
Remember when you had to wash your hands for 20 seconds? sing a song to ourselvesThe same methodology applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like suction cups? In. Everything was free Fine Until the appearance of “the world’s first connected electric toothbrush”. happy Birthday Happy Birthday…
read more: Kolibree’s connected toothbrush aims for better dental health
taser mp3 holster
supreme defense
Back in the 2000s, The iPod has become such a cultural phenomenon Every company rushed to create their own MP3 players. This culminated in his Tazer MP3 holster, one of his most ridiculous CES products in recent memory. Imagine not only charging your holster, but connecting it to your computer via USB and filling it with 1 GB of songs.
read more: What Every Taser Needs: A Holster That Plays Music
pepe pet dryer
Pepe is a hair dryer for dogs and cats.
Patrick Holland/CNET
Want to find a new way to make your little dog or cat hate you forever? In a cubic prison he is locked up for 25 minutes (!) and exposed to hot air. This torture device and dryer combo will set you back $660, or just cover a wet dog with a towel like a normal human would.
read more: At CES 2019, a $660 sauna will bring your dog to life
happy folk
CNET
Throughout history there have been a great many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes (bread) cake. Another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat slowly (20 minutes or more). Personally, I devour my own food as if I were in prison. Eat with your hands if you want! You are not my boss!
read more: Bolt your food? Brake with HapiFork
Hushme
Hushme in masking mode.
David Carnoy/CNET
Hushme is literally a “silly” product. Designed to mute other people in the immediate vicinity of the user. It was marketed as useful at work, but…if a colleague gave me one of these, they’d better put on vacuum shoes to clean the gleefully trampled bits.
read more: Hushme could be the weirdest but most useful wireless headphones ever made
Berti
Make room for the Belty, a smart pant retention device that slims or expands to accommodate subtle changes in your waistline. No kidding.
Nick Stutt/CNET
The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a built-in motor that automatically adjusted depending on whether you were eating or sitting. There is also a newer model, also called Berti, which is even stranger. It doesn’t have auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle.not just me No I want a potentially volatile compound near the Nether, but I don’t want a bunch of devices hooked up there.
read more: Meet Belty, the silly but oddly popular CES show-stealer
Xivernaut Poma
Former PC Advisor Sean Captain models Xybernaut Poma. via seancaptain.com.
Sean Captain
The Hitachi Xybernaut wearable computer, first shown at CES 1998, has long been a bad idea google glass There was even a sparkle in Babak Parviz’s eyes. His Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128MHz RISC processor and his 32MB of RAM for the low price of $1,499 and was attached to his arm, face and belt!
read more: Hitachi Fashion Wearable PC
denso vacuum shoe
Sarah Tew/CNET
shoes. you wear them They wear out and you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it?they need thing Among them — phones, rockets, rollers, and… vacuum cleaners? There are plenty of puns on the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes alone, but the fact that they exist was the biggest joke of all.
read more: Why Vacuum Shoes Are Coming to CES
