People who graduated from high school typing classes at either the Edmondson Business School or the Mackenzie Business School and learned to type on a manual typewriter are all but extinct.
Louis Grizard, Jr. (LG), in a chapter entitled “Somebody Pull the Plug the Modernity on Modernity” included in “Elvis is Dead, and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself” (Peachtree Publishers 1984) describes the rapid progress from the beloved manual of Royal his typewriter to his lifetime computer from 1947 to his 1994.
His reluctance to change the method of producing copies of 450 syndicated newspapers during his writing career once again demonstrated his unique qualities that made him the most read Southern humorist of his time.
He first describes his independent nature as follows:
“I can definitely get by without a computer. In fact, I may be one of the last resisters to computers, typing these words on a 1959 manual Royal typewriter.” You can prove it by explaining, because I’m not sure if you’ll find another.
“Modern hipsters often tell me, ‘Why don’t you get a word processor? It’ll make writing much easier.'”
“No, it wasn’t. First, I had to stare at a TV screen with text on it for hours. It’s on the screen and shows the news and baseball scores.”
He also admitted to being baffled by the rapid development of computers.
1. Computer Shopping: Do you really want to computer shop? The minute you see a commercial on TV, you press a button on your computer and a conveyor belt delivers a gins knife to your kitchen, deducting $14.95 from your account. Can I see the loafers on a video monitor to determine if they actually fit?
2. Easy to use computer: Easy as someone else said. I can barely handle a bottle of aspirin.
3. Talking Computers: Now there are even cars that talk to you. “I need gas, I need gas,” your car says. The talking car gives me gas.
4. Understanding computers: where do computer cables go? What is the difference between “wear”? Partly hairy and itchy? “Semiconductor” means a part-time job on the railway?
5. Computer Dating: What if the computer didn’t care about unshaven girls and would date girls? It’s me who kisses her goodnight, not the computer.
6. Computer: I don’t want to use my computer for personal use. I didn’t get along with my three wives. How do I maintain compatibility with IBM?
What else do you know about computers? Nothing interesting about them. In conducting my research for this chapter, I consulted several computer magazines. None of them had a single joke section or cartoon.
The big question we have to ask is where will this computer business end?
Lewis Grizard Jr. died before he had an answer to this question.
(Any readers who believe they can adapt to wristwatch computers?)
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You can contact Jerry Summers at [email protected].